EULOGY FOR YUKIKO FERREIRA
London, 17 April 2020, 12:30 by Clive Ferreira
When Keith asked me to undertake the Eulogy for my beloved sister-in-law Yukiko, or Yuki, as she was fondly known, I have to say that I was very nervous, not only because of my emotions when speaking of someone who is so dearly loved by me, and all the family, but also because it is difficult to adequately sum up the life of someone who was so special and extraordinary, someone who was beautiful, intelligent, sensitive and perceptive.
I then thought of the courage that Yuki displayed throughout her battle with cancer: four years of surgery, chemo and radiation.  But she met these challenges and difficulties, with such bravery and hope!  And I therefore feel that the very least I can do is to stand up and attempt to pay tribute to her.
I am also all too conscious that I am privileged to be here.  There are so many would have liked to have been here in my stead, not least Yuki’s parents, Kazuo-san and Kiyoko-san, along with my mother, Gloria, all of whom are restricted in terms of travel because of the current Covid 19 crisis.  And of course, Yuki’s  younger brother and sister-in-law, Masahiro san and Michiyo chan, along  with all the nieces and nephews: Miki, Yuuki,  Kiichi, Joelle, Jason, Beatrice and Eleanor would also dearly have loved to be present.  I do hope however that Keith & Alexander Ryuto, along with family members, will know and be comforted by the fact that although we are prevented from being together today, they are joined in spirit, prayer and love by family and friends not only in the UK and Japan, but also in Australia, Brazil, Canada, France, India, the Netherlands, Portugal and the United States.  It is a testimony of the affection and regard in which Yuki, Keith & Alexander Ryuto are held.
On my parents’ 50th wedding anniversary, my Dad said of my Mum that she was his “strength and stay”.  I know that Keith too echoes those words, in relation to Yuki.  She gave him love, laughter and light, a steady strong presence, even through the worst of her health trials.  And of course, she gave him Alexander Ryuto, whom she loved so deeply.  With every step of her fight with cancer, she had Alexander in mind: his birthdays, his Confirmation, his cello and piano grading exams, his school year and his sports days, his concerts and his school holidays: these were all markers that she used to get through another hurdle in her fight with cancer.  But even though Yuki is no longer physically present, we can be sure that Alexander will remain inseparable from his mother’s boundless love.  We can also be sure that that her qualities of integrity and kindness, resilience and bravery will live on through Alexander.
Yuki had so many talents and she was remarkably capable in so many spheres.  Yes, she was a successful in her career as an investment banker.  Her work took her all over the world and it was on one such trip to London in 1994 that she met Keith, through one of Keith’s oldest university friends, Chris Cooper, and the flame of love was lit and it was to endure through nine long years of courtship.  It is so lovely to have Beth here today, not only as a friend but as also as a representative of her last place of work, Absolute Strategy Research, where Yuki was so happy and well-supported.
But Yuki’s life was much more than work.  She was an able skier and in fact was qualified as a skiing instructor.  Even as recently as 18 months ago she went on a skiing trip with Keith & Alexander.  She made us laugh when she recounted how she and Alexander went on difficult ski runs, watching in amazement as Keith skied past them, looking more terrified, than in control!  She was also an excellent swimmer, deep sea diver and golf player.  She was a proficient pianist, added to which, her hearing was acute: she could pick out any mistake that Alexander might make when practising the piano or cello, from whatever room she was in the house - even on the top floor!  She was also a wonderful painter of porcelain, able to undertake detailed, delicate work with a keen eye.
Yuki was also a brilliant cook and even until the last, she produced wonderful home cooked meals for Keith & Alexander.  She also remained hospitable until the end.  I will never forget that on one the last occasions that I saw Yuki, in early March, she insisted that Mum and I stay to lunch, even though we had told her that we were just going to drop in for a few minutes to see her.   She produced a delicious meal but how she did so, I will never know, as she was so frail and weak.
Yuki was proudly Japanese but also a citizen of the world in the truest sense: she embraced peoples, cultures, traditions and religions. I have never known anyone to be so at home and at ease on any continent, in any country, town or city.  I remember when she and Keith first moved back to the UK from Japan, and Yuki spent a few weeks with my parents, she got to know the area much better than they ever did: she knew where the spice shops were, where to shop for vegetables and the best bus and taxi routes!  She was as comfortable dining at Claridges or the Ritz in London, as ordering bhel puri in Tooting Bec. She loved shopping for silk scarves at Hermes or Gucci in Paris, as much as she loved bargaining for jewellery in Bombay, or purchasing fresh sea food at fish markets in Brixton, at Calangute Beach in Goa, in Sicily or in Cascais.   She knew of must-see musicals in New York, Opera in London, as well the tunes, if not the words of songs, in Konkani!
Above all, Yuki was an amazing family person.  She loved her parents and younger brother and planned to see them in February, when sadly her health took a turn for the worse.  I will never forget the extra mile that she went to for all of us.  Yes, despite working hard in the City, she always ensured that she left work on time, so that she could collect Alexander from primary school, when he was younger.  But this care was demonstrated in so many other ways: when Dad was ill and in hospital, Yuki would not only collect Alexander from school, but then also catch a train to see Dad in hospital and then return home to prepare an evening meal for Keith & Alexander.  Even when she was receiving chemotherapy and was exhausted, she ensured that she saw Charlotte’s father at his carehome, knowing he was coming to the end of life’s journey.  Yuki has been there for us at the best and the worst of times.  And how we shall miss her.
My abiding memory of Yuki however was of the days just before her wedding to Keith in April 2003, during the sakura or cherry blossom season.  I happened to be spending the night of my arrival in Tokyo with Keith & Yuki and as I went to sleep, I heard peels of laugher floating up the stairs, as Yuki looked at photographs of Keith as a child.  She took such pleasure and joy in life both past and present!  But she always looked to the future too, with hope and optimism.
In closing, I firmly believe that Yuki would want us to look at the gift of life with thankfulness, rather than sadness, she would want us to wonder at its beauty and to live the life that we are given with joy.  Yuki did not fear or trivialise death because she had faith in life after death. 
I hope then that we will find solace in this beautiful poem by John O’Donohue, which was sent to me by our cousin, Patricia, in Melbourne.  May I just read an excerpt of it:
Though your days here were brief,
Your spirit was live, awake, complete.
….
Let us not look for you only in memory,
Where we would grow lonely without you.
You would want us to find you in presence,
Beside us when beauty brightens,
When kindness glows
And music echoes eternal tones.
 
When orchids brighten the earth,
Darkest winter has turned to spring;
May this dark grief flower with hope
In every heart that loves you.
 
May you continue to inspire us:
 
To enter each day with a generous heart.
To serve the call of courage and love
Until we see your beautiful face again
In that land where there is no more separation,
Where all tears will be wiped from our mind,
And where we will never lose you again.